


In the stillness of silence

by screamingsunshine



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-10-21 05:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17637068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamingsunshine/pseuds/screamingsunshine
Summary: It was just a nightmare. But a nightmare he's lived before.





	In the stillness of silence

Laughter. That’s how he knows he’s dreaming. He can hear her laugh. It’s always the same dream, the smoke, the screams, the stench of burning flesh, every single time.

It’s like being stuck in a time loop, reliving the same horrifying dream over and over. He should be used to it by now, should not let it affect him like it still does, should not ruin his day, his week, but he’s not used to it yet. The nightmares keep his wounds fresh like it happened last night instead of 8 years ago. Like it’s still happening. But he knows that’s not true. After all he can see the passage of time on his own face, not that he spends a lot of time in front of a mirror (He is not very fond of what stares back). He is not a 16 year old scared boy anymore who lost everything to foolish promises, to careless hands that thought they were sharing intimacy, love and comfort. No, he is a man now, a man who has lost more still since that horrible night. It's strange, no matter how much practice you get, you don't get used to burying the people you love. 

Her laugh is how he knows he’s dreaming because Kate wasn’t there when he found the burnt remains of his family, his pack. He gasps awake when he realized that it wasn’t real, just a dream. He gets out of the motel bed and splashes water on his face, trying to get rid of the phantom smell of burning wood. He can’t go back to bed again, he knows there will be no more sleep tonight. Instead he pulls on his clothes and leaves the cheap motel room and its ancient air conditioner for the humid heat of the Mexican night.

He goes for a walk, going through his day, trying to figure out why tonight? He hasn’t had a dream in a while. What was different about today that triggered it? He can’t think of anything that stood out, it was an ordinary, mundane day. All his days are just as ordinary just as mundane. What was so different about today that affected him so much? Then he remembered.

It was Erica’s birthday yesterday.

Erica Reyes, beautiful, fierce, bright Erica. Yet another life sacrificed to the stupidity of Derek Hale. It’s a surprisingly growing list. All of a sudden Derek feels incredibly tired. Just as tired as he felt the night he was driving back to Beacon Hills knowing his Alpha was dead, his amazing sister, his last family. Going back to the town that has stolen everything from him. But Derek wasn’t just tired that night, he was also scared and feeling so many emotions that he didn’t even get the time to catalog and define before he was pulling in front of the burnt shell that was his childhood home. Derek was heartbroken for his sister, his grief just as sharp as the night his family was murdered but he was scared because his sister was his last link to humanity, his anchor. Without her, he would surely be lost to his wolf, feral. Werewolves need their anchors to stay connected to their humanity. He needed another anchor and he found one. It was a mockery of an anchor, still is. 

He’s at the edge of the village now, on the path that leads to the woods. Woods here are nothing compared to Beacon Hills but it’s something familiar. He’s running before he even realizes. It’s going to be a long night. Nights like these he wants nothing more than put his head in his mother’s lap and drift to sleep feeling the nails on her fingers gently going over his scalp. But the comfort of that warmth has long been stolen from him. He would never find it again. Never feel his mother’s love, his father’s unwavering loyalty to his family, would never hear his sister’s bright laughter. 

He does the only thing he can do to feel close to them again. The very last gift his mother gave to him.

He sheds his clothes and he sheds his skin, calls forth his wolf and runs deeper in the woods on four paws.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. It was my very first fic, I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
